


Rosemary, Pansy, Columbine, Rue

by lucidSeraph



Series: Violetesence [1]
Category: Homestuck, House of Leaves - Mark Z. Danielewski, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Alternate Universe, Character Death, F/F, F/M, Horror, I, Insanity, Lovecraftian, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-01
Updated: 2011-08-01
Packaged: 2017-10-22 02:26:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/232692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucidSeraph/pseuds/lucidSeraph
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In another universe, the player associated with Breath mixed up the meteors sending the kids to each of their parents, leading a few to be sent to the wrong ones. Thus, Rose grew up in the care of Mr. Egbert, Dave (or David, as he prefers to be called) with Ms. Lalonde, Jade with Bro's ironic shenanigans, and John under Becquerel's watchful eye. Here, David Lalonde has a conversation with a douchenozzle who types in white text, and then shit gets real.</p><p>Chapters 4, 5, and 6 of Revolutions of Ruin.</p><p>AO3 still hasn't restored Violetesence to my account, so if you're staring at this going BZUH I suggest looking at the following link: http://archiveofourown.org/series/6075</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Destroying Angels, Tiger Sharks

**Author's Note:**

> Note: The first section may contain spelling errors given the way I wrote it; I'm so, so sorry, but it's pretty much impossible to correct them due to how I've written the HTML. I'm sorry also that this took so long, but. HTML.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Too lazy to fix the broken zalgotext. If you'd written 12,000 words in three days, you would be too.

_"There's rosemary, that's for remembrance; pray,  
love, remember: and there is pansies. that's for thoughts.  
There's fennel for you, and columbines: there's rue  
for you; and here's some for me: we may call it  
herb grace o' Sundays: O you must wear your rue with  
a difference." - Ophelia, Hamlet Act IV scene V_

 ** > Be the garden girl, a half an hour ago. **

"Shut _up!_ "

 **You cannot be the garden girl, as she is currently fighting off the unwanted attentions of a creepy half-dead girl.**

 ****  
****

**> Be the creepy half-dead girl instead.**

Soon.

Soon you'll get to rest.

You're so fucking tired. You've worked really hard for all this, you know. You let yourself be tugged along by the dead and damned and it was fun at first, and soon you'll have your final vengeance.

Soon they'll all be at peace. All... but a few.

You're sorry to Karkat. He's going to have to suffer a while longer, and you don't know when he finally goes (he'll go eventually - everyone does. Even gods. It's a matter of odds - on a long enough timescale, everyone's dust). You know that before he does you'll lose him, but you never had him in the first place.

You're okay with that. You're okay with a lot of things.

But before you - and everyone else - can rest, you have to make her see.

You laugh, a lilting, hoarse tone, and you kick your legs back and forth. You can only really see her as a greenish blur in your peripherals and only hear her as the whisper of autumn **o ak leaves**.

But the girl before you is herself singing into your ears about where she is; and those beyond the veil already stand with you. In fact, one is here now, hands on your shoulders, an old friend of a sort.  

It'll be okay. Soon you can be with her properly, and you can both play like you've always wanted.

But first things first.

"What can you do? All your plants are dead and everyone you know is suffering. You couldn't change anything about the caste system and you can't change anything about how much everyone's going to hurt before they die! The demon's going to camp out there until he finds us, and then it'll be just like in our dreams - splutch! Whack! All in pretty gurgling bits and pieces. It'll be almost musical, I think."

It's not really enough. She's just sitting down there, rocking back and forth, hands over her ears, whimpering. Dammit. Where's that rage from before? Where's the doom you were promised? You wish you had a better sense of people's minds. You wish Aradia were actually dead, so she could stand here too, and whisper.

Well, there's always that method.

"And there's Sollux, of course."

"... what."

 _Ah._ There it is. You grin even wider than usual, and your laughter seems to come from all directions. You jump down from your perch and walk towards the girl.

"He's going to beg for death in the end! It's going to be so horrible, you have noooo idea~ I can hear him now if I close my eyes" you say, doing so. "It's like breaking mirrors."

"Shut up! No, Sollux is fine, he'll _be_ fine, we're all going to be... "

You approach close, and you take her chin in your hand (almost missing at first, but one of your friends redirects you, gently.)

"Nobody's fine, Feferi~ Least of all you, with your leaves and your boughs and your creaking inside. Nobody's fine at all. We can't win. The demon's here. The world's closed to us and the kids? Well we _know_ they're going to die - they Scratch, that's it, the end, bam done dead! "

You can hear it and see it now, the idea whispered and shown of bright teal streaks down her face. And something else. A darker growl.

"The only time we're ever going to be fine is when we're _all_ dead. Why don't you ask your friends, Fef? They know. "

She starts to shake her head in protest, but when you mention her friends, she stops. Someone says she gives you a determined glare. She tilts her head, and that growl gets louder.

 **d͙̺͚̅̆̀̾̐ͥǝͣͥͩ̃ͣ͆̽҉͍̲͎ǝ͙̫͇̪͇͚̲̘̇ͪͨ̇͡ןṥ̪̤̺͓̺͈ͤ̒̑ͬ̄ͪ͝ ̵̸̶͇̹̬̮̥̇̍ͦͪɯ̭̮̲͕̊ͤ͑̄̽̊ͫǝ̩̻̣̦̓͠ɥ͖̟͓͐͜ʇ̴̶̴̘͍̳͎̲̙̈̐͂̍̈̄ ̥͓̮̠͈̙͐̽͐ͬͪ̅ͦ͝ʇ̣̙̠͎̘̟̳̎͒͆̈̔̃̒ǝ̴̗̥̝̰̲̬̱͍̍ͪͪ͡ͅן ̹͔͇͈̂͌̎̾̉̚̕͟o̜͍̞̪͕̎͛̊͆̀́s̢͔̩̥̥̣̤͙̱̓̎̂̃̀ͅ**

"Do it, Fef. Set me free."

She doesn't need to be told twice. She stands up, as though in a trance, lifts her fork, and runs you through.

You smile. And for the first time in years, it's genuine. You look up at Feferi over your glasses.

"Now go avenge me."

You know she'll know what you mean. She twists her fork, and at last, you're

f r e e

  


  
  
  
  
  
  
**> Be the garden girl.

Not yet. One moment. Just one moment more.

**

You hear -

The creaking of great **TR EE LIMBS**  
Your eyes open

w i d e

and you -  
and I.

And I know.

I've known all along and allways all the  
streeeeeetching  
of the branches towards  
tangled tumbling brambled bumbling  
seeking solace in the blackened sky  
they've sung to me  
all told and all of them  
but this one!  
such a song I've never heard before  
I hear her now  
I hear her now

He'd told me of her song and I implored -  
I sang to him to follow her  
to listen to her shaking branches  
He's with her now  
I hear him sing  
 _Down in the West Texas town of El-Paso  
I fell in love with a Mexican Girl_  
He's lonely now but he'll be lonely no more  
She's borrowed his shell  
Wears it like a cast-off cloak  
Not borrowed?  
Taken.  
But it's well and good  
He sang for vengeance and she takes it for him  
For he cannot  
His limbs too heavy his branches break  
So she lifts his arms  
She takes his fight  
To the GREEN SHADOW  


But he's no matter no worry aye  
Not to me  
Not now  


 **Rosemary, Pansy, Columbine, Rue**  
Some for me  
And some for you  
 **Rosemary, Pansy, Columbine, Rue**  


So now I seek the second coat of paint  
 **Cook's Tussock** or **Muttonbird Poa**  
Slither to strike  
My **Toxicodendron radicans** sliding searching for the sun  
A sun? No – A Rogue  
He stalks in the grass far below  
Blissful and unaware  
Just a Rogue of Void  


A little **Nepeta cataria** to entice him...

 ~~ɐʇǝdǝN sɐʍ ʇı 'ǝqʎɐɯ 'ǝɟıl ɹǝ)(ʇouɐ uI  
euop justice sı ʇı sdɐ)(ɹǝԀ  
ɹǝ)(ʇouɐ ɟo poolq ǝ)(ʇ uı ǝq oʇ  
pǝsnɐɔ noʎ uıɐd ǝ)(ʇ ʍouʞ o┴~~   


And of course he comes sniffing  
Yowling  
He wants to play  
I'm more than willing  
I laugh giggle and slide  
He bats at my branches at first,  
wiggling and pouncing,  
tumbling and bouncing  
I flee; he falls  
His claws gouging the walls  
I'm not afraid  
Again – we're just playing, right?  


He asks why  
I never play, after all.  
I answer.  
Today's a day for play.

So we begin the hunt  
He hides in the grass and I follow  
I lead black trendils through and he bats at them  
A playful cat indeed!  
He screams and cries, animal cries  
And I merely laugh  
I tell him it will be safe again  
I tell him he'll be whole again  
As soon as he stops moving  
Just as soon as he stops  
Like a **white oak** cut down  
He'll be remade  
Into clocks, perhaps  
Tables or chairs  
Useful and peaceful  
No more meows and no more fighting  


At last I pin him down  
He cries -- with joy, of course  
And I begin to rip him open  
To peel back his flesh  
Piece by piece, bit by bit  
And I paint the world grass-green  
The dead grass I tried so hard to give life  
Now glows the right color at last  
I go slowly, to make it easier  
Soon his soul will sleep with the trees  
Soon he'll hear the creeeeeaaaaaking of great

t r e e - l i m b s

But I am interrupted --!  
What miracle is this?  
The Balancer calls to me  
Says I've lost my way, I've lost my mind  
He understands not! Only in oblivion  
Do we find peace  
The Balancer understands  
He hears in part  
I call to him

" **Rosemary, Pansy, Columbine, Rue**  
Given for the heart that's true  
Some for me, and some for you  
 **Rosemary, Pansy, Columbine, Rue.  
** No **rosemary** for me, my love?  
I'm hurt to the core; struck  
To my very heart  
I have a **pansy** for you, or two  
No worries, you'll be with me soon  
And then you too, will wear the **rue.**   
"

I feel you now with me, my love  
Time was once I had for you only hate  
 **Carrion Flowers**   
climbing choking  
It was your brother to whom I sent  
My **Yellow Tulips**  
But how times change - he had eyes  
Only for blue, my own love spurned again  
And at first you too only loved blue  
Till she too turned away, her sight  
Restored, her vision clear  
But then you came to me once you heard  
Their whispers, in the darkness  
A comfort on the violet moon  
We're two of a kind, you and I -  
I bring justice, and you  
Despair, destruction  


I sing to you of justice, asking  
Who will hang from the **Willow Tree**  
And I already know your answer -

"The **Rose-Blood** first;  
 **Carnation-Bright** , defier of  
The ancient precepts;  
So tangled in her own despair  
We'll set her free first  
Justice for the blind-girl done  
We'll move on  
The **Cornflower** with crimes so long  
We cannot list them all  
The **Pine-brown** girl  
To join with **Red as Roses** so  
They shall not be alone, and last -  
The **Shrinking Violet** goes."

"And then we follow!"  
I sing in joy, spinning in a circle.  
"We follow, to peace, to a place  
Where there is no more strife  
No struggle, only death  
Only peace, only sleep  
Eternal

  
We go together."   


  
I take your hand in mine  
And like twin **Destroying Angels**  
Our hunt beings  
There   
  
she   
  
stands!  
Defiant and proud  
Tall and strong  
We smile at each other,  
Then at her.    


"Don't be afraid," we say  
"You'll be at peace soon.  
Don't resist.  
Follow us. We bring peace.  
Only peace."

She resists, of course.  
But not for long...

| 

** > Be the bifurcated nutcase**

 **You can only be one half of the bifurcated nutcase.**

 **> Be Sollux, fifteen minutes ago.**

You are taking a meditative jaunt through the lower bowels of the asteroid. The solemn mood of your companions has been troubling to you of late. You've done your best to do the Page of Hope thing for them, but it doesn't seem to be working out. Despite your best efforts, none of them have listened to your pleas. Not Karkat. Feferi did, but you suspected that there was an edge to her voice, a kind of weariness that belied her true feelings.

And then there was Aradia... you were only confused by her, now. You'd thought her flushed for _Captor_ , not you. And yet her actions there... you cannot deny that she seemed to have changed her ways.

Perhaps her title had taught her something after all? She did seem to feel more for others now, to truly know with the mind.

And then... Captor. Always that lurking shadow in your mind. You can feel him now, pacing at the edge of his cage like a tiger, ready to escape. You are not sure how much longer you can stand it -- you've always wondered when the day would come when you woud come to blows with your other half, but it seems to grow ever closer now. You miss when both your dreamselves were alive. In sleep, you were your own person, alone and whole. You danced through golden streets and worked with the people of Prospit as best you could, while your counterpart screamed at the horrifying voices he heard echoing from the heavens, while he abused the Dersites and at one point even arranged for them to carry him about on a planquin. Not your concern; what he did in his sleep was his own problem. You were content to be alone, and so you slept as much as you could. In hindsight? A poor idea, since nothing said that Captor could not be awake when you were sleeping too.

You are so lost in your thoughts that you barely notice when you step in the dark red blood staining the floor.

Leaping backwards, you yelp in surprise and horror. Terezi's blood...? Who could have done this? You take a deep breath and start forward.

In the back of your mind, Captor stirrs, woken by the thought of blood. He claws his way towards waking but you shove him back down. He laughs at you. _Terezi? Why so worked up, Sollux? She deserved it. Fucking creepy doomsaying rustblood._ You studiously ignore him as you walk forward. Your boots crush the brittle remains of plants as you kneel to investigate the grisly scene.

Three puncture wounds, evenly spaced. One through the vascular pumping organ, the other two neatly through the lungs. A quick death? Not for a troll. You do her the kindness of closing her eyes.

So who, then? Kanaya? No, Kanaya's weapon of choice was the chainsaw, and while you certainly think she's capable of it, the wound pattern would be completely different. Suicide? Maybe, but that would be an awfully difficult way to go. Vriska? HAH. The very thought. Gamzee... perhaps. Gamzee was always feral, and you suspected that his posturing was an act.

You rub your chin, frowning. No, that doesn't seem right either. What would your ancestor have done? Balancer Twinsight and Balancer Twinblade were the right and left claws of the Empress, one a Detectisector and justice with contacts among the Legislacerators; the other a feared assassin who destroyed all who opposed Her Imperial Condescation. And both were, like you, one and the same.

Your particular ancestor -- Twinsight -- would more deeply consider the matter. Not Gamzee then. And not Equius, though it could have been three arrows. You follow the blood trail, disturbed by the idea of a murderer here. It is, after all, your job to keep hope alive, and if death has come to this place you've clearly failed in your task.

Tavros?

Tavros was descended from the Grand Highblood after all. This is something you learned from Aradia -- or rather, that Captor learned from Aradia. Dangerous. And he hadn't had access to his sopor slime here. You, personally, had done your best to keep him medicated, but the alchemized slime didn't seem to be doing the trick as well as it should. And the wounds could be from three precise stabs from his lance...

Yes. It must be the descendant of the Grand Highblood. Which means his next target must surely be Gamzee. It would follow the legend Aradia discovered. There can be no other option. You had suspected it would come to this for years, and it only pains you that you must bring justice now. Twinblade allied with the highbloods, but in the end Twinsight rebelled, only to be cut down by Twinblade's former lover, the Archivist.

You resolve then to find the Highblood. You take your weapon in hand and go to hunt him down. You will defy the march of History (we are inhabited by History) and prevent the dark Sidhe from rising again, from bringing the march of Winter's Court.

You dive deeper into the bowels of the meteor, past more of dear Feferi's failed attempts at bringing a little greenery to the station. Dead grasses fill this level, and you find more blood, along with a sticky black stubstance (tar? but there are no imps here...). And then you find it. Bits of grass green blood. As you suspected -- the Highblood is playing with his victim first. Your grip tightens on the Debunkinator and you try to hold your resolve. You are the Page of Hope, long descendant of Balancer Twinsight. You can survive this. You _will_ survive this.

 **> Sollux: Go into the long grass.**

You swish through the grass, and you hear it then -- the sound of crying and screaming.

"No! I don't want to purrlay this game, chica! This isn't -- "

The sound is cut off in a horrifying scream, like a dying animal. You run forward, determined to catch the highblood in the --

 **> Sollux: Break.**

It can't. It can't. It can't. No. No.

She turns to face you and her face is empty, her eyes like empty windows, her mouth too wide for her face. You lift your weapon and step back.

"S-stay back! What... whatever you are, you're not Feferi. Stay back!"

Then she śp̷eaks҉  
and͘ ỳou ̶ţhi͝n͢k ͘ ý͢o̕u͏͜͟ mí̸̸gh̸͜͝t͘͘ g͞҉͜͠ò̸͞ ̕͝͏͞m̵̨͞͝͝a͏̡͏̵d

 **"R̸͙̱ǫ͈s ̥̅̐ͭ͌̎e̦̫̙͉͆ͬm̼̪̝̱̱̂ͤ͠a̻̫̻͒̏̾̔̋͐ͨr͉͈͈̜̹̻̬y̆̀͏̰̜̹,ͪ͌͡ ̳̖̔͌ͪP̶̳͖͉̜̭͖̆ͮͦ̇͗ͬ̽a̮͓̩̯̯̣͠n͈͔̓s̓ͯͯ͂͗ͭ̊ý͕̯̘,̗͕̺̼̩͙ͪ̌ͦ́ͮ͊̚ ͭ̏ͧ̑̈́͐Cő̠͎̜̺̰͇̇͜l͍͍̗͇̜̈ͨ͋úm̝̞̑̌̚͜b̮͕͙͗̊̐ͭ̈ͅi̯̖̣͋̿͢n̛͖̱͎̻̘̒͊͐e̟̪̟͚͓̒ͭ̄ͪ͜,̡̹̩̳͉̬̱̞ ͏R̯̤̺͖͕̈́̽͑͗͜u̮͇͇̟̤ͯe͇̼̺̮͓͇͇ͫͨ͊ͤ̈́͟**  
̨̲͚̣͇̩ͨ̍ͣ̂͋G͒̄̓ͪ̉̔͏̝̣̼̙iͤ̀͐̚͟v̟͙̞̠̌̆ͩ̎͑͊͒͜eḙ̯͚͉̈ͅ ͭͯ̓h͓͓͉͆ḛ̼̻̒͐̽̏a͈̼̒̽̑r͒̋ͫͨ͢t̻̣̥̝̓ͥ̉̈́ͨͦ ̦̟͓͕ͅtͩ͒̒ͬ̊ͨh̗̥͓͕̟͓͔a̧̦̘̻̪t͎ͯ'͈̟̹̰͠ŝ̰͈͔̏ ͎̮̜͉͛͐ͦ͝ͅt͇̣͔̠̲̂̾̐̍r͖̰̗̝̺̠̂ͧu͎̩̻͚̺̔̅ͪ́ẹ̆̔͑ͯͨͅ  
͖̤̠̣̠̩̭S̔̓͢o̠̟̞͉̱̫͊̃̈́̾̔ͧ͘m͙̤͚̙ͩ̽̋̈́̾͘ë̇̎́̂͆ͪ̀ ̡̰̣̠̖̌͌̽̓́f̩ͫ̽͢o̶̘̜ͮ͂ͦͣͦͅr̺͇̝͖ͪ͂ ̹̞̙ͧ͆̃̇m͎̭̜̓̇͡e̡̜͈̼͚̟̻̭̽̐ͨ͊̌,͛ͯͨ͆͆ ̳̖̫̤̫̙́̀ͦ͋͆ͫą͍̟͚̜̬̯̎ñ́͒̐̃d̰̝̩ͮ͊̑ͦ͐̈ ̮͓̆̽̑̂̾͑s̠̭͍̑̈́̕o̮̻̺ͪ͊͑̑͐m̡͉̟̤͎ͮ̄ͅe͈̞̟͈̪̼ͦ ̼̭̣̺͡f̝̹͓̰̎̀̎ͦ̀͊̆o̴̤̫̠͇̞̯̒̆̏̏̚ͅr͇̲̭͒̕ ̤̆̇̒̓̏y̺̑̃͑̾̈̃o̯̊̔͗̎͊͗̃u̽҉̝̦  
 **͇̜̜͉R̞̟̲͉̟̔̉͆ͨͤͯ͝oͫ̀͐ͬ̄̉͂s ̺̱̥̪̬̾͌͐ͅe̤̞͇̫m̶̻ͪ̄̋͊ąͮ̃͊̂̀̽͌ȑ̦̣̩̩͇̻͗̄ͯý̘͈̬̗̳͓̝̌̇̕,̰̫ͮ ̶͍̏̇Ṗ̩͌̈́̎ͣ͘ȃ͑ͫn̜̺͇̳̬ͥ̀s̘̳̝̙͍̋̒͑ͨͧ̅y͓̰̼͂͠ͅ,̘̝̱̫̖͂ͨͮ͛̇́ ̾ͫͧ̿̚C͙̣̖̦͖̺̟̐̃̉̕o̳̦͂͂́̏̏̽ͥl̘̘͖̤̜̙̆̀u͉̯̟ͪͮ͊̀̏̍̎͝m̫͉̰̳͋b̍ͯͯ҉̱̫̪i̋͋͌͂͛͋̅͢n̗͉̻̜͐͆͐e̡ͤ,̹̥͍̈́ͤ ̭̥͈R̤̱̘̠̈́ͮ̉̎͋̆u̦͙̦̔̊̉̉ͯ͗͒ë̷̖̭̳̻̺̬́͆͂.̞͖̞̠̀ͤͮ͐**  
̿̈́͏̖N̵͑̌ͨ̃̔o̧̙̝̺͔͇͐ͣ̄̋ͬͬ͑ ̣̥̭͛ͩ̇͋͗̈͋ **r̟ͥͯ͡o̤͚̺͔̯̟̲̽͂̿ͣ̂̕s ̗̲͉̇̇ͧ̓͑ͤͅḛ͈͎͛͌̽ͅṁͧͦͦä̙̖́̋ͯr̞͔̋͂͐́ͩỳ**̥̯̱͂́ ̖̹̣͔ͣ͌͊́̑ͨͪḟ̱̭̳̮̱͂ͩ̒͡o̲̤̩̙̝ͣ̏ͧͬr̡̤͋ͨ̂̊̅̓͊ ̈̃͑m̷̳̣̰͇̃̾ę̞͕͖̒͐́ͮ̉,̡̗ͪ̓ͮ̅ͯ̈́͒ ̱͉͗̚͡m̶̠̜̬͎̘̔̂ͤy͈̹͔͚̝͓̆ͣͤ͠ ̷͖̼̘͓̹̊̏ͅl̵͈̊ŏ̱͍̩͔̻̻̖v̼̎̂ͧ͋́ͅe̔̍?͓̰̝͔̙͐̓̔ͮ͠  
̦̜͉̰̊ͫͬͪͭI̤̱̦̬̺̥'̋̂̑ͯm̹̘̮̝̗̆̈ͮ ͉̙̳̔̇ͪ͑h̙̙̱͔ͮ͆̒͛ͦ̎uͬ̅̐̓ͩ͛ͦ͏͓͓ȑ̟̩͙͔̼̘ͧ͒̊̓̇̆ͅt̖̺̘̻̤̥̎ͥͪ̀͟ ̲͕͔̥̕t̶͎͉̳͓̰̣o̪̯͙̯͚͔̊ ̋ͥ͌̋̇̚t̺͔̖̃ͫ͛̆h̛̼͗ͩ̒e̪̗͗ͨ̑ͅ ͙̩͈̠̟ͮͅc̎͌͂͘o̸ͩͅr̹̺͐̄e̦̱̥͕̒̐͗͐̓̈́;̳̭̱̖̕ͅ ̵̣̤ş̱͍͕͈̲̳̮̏͗͑ͭ̂̊t̛͔̪͇̺͒̄̿ͤͬͦ̐r͉̥ư͎̠̊ͫ̀̈͆̐ͅc̬̩͐ͥ̓ͯ̂̾̔kͯ̀ ̢̳ͭ̒ͫ̀̎͑  
͉̼͟T͙͕ͮ͋o̎̾͂͌̓͏͔̼͔ ̴̍m̒ͫͦ̏͊͞y̗͚̲̝̰̖̋͜ͅ ̞̍̚̚v̜̺̫͚̙̬̱̑ͤë͎̬̭́ͥ̓͌r̟̱͔̥̔̉y̨̳̬̥̥͔̖̼͒̑ ̦̼͉̲̺̩̽̒͐̈́̐͘h̗̥͌͝ȅ͔͈ā̯̀ͪ͐̊̐͘r͚͔͉͖͝t̠̠̥̳̥̙̺ͪ͛ͨ͞  
̮̗̭̥̓͛̄ͅĮ̱̘̔͛ͥͣ ͣ̒ͭ҉͕̬͕h͙̻̱͑̾ả̻͕͊ͧ͑ͬͦv̟e̳͎̦̥̯̤̝̎͋ͣͫ͛̋̏ ͔̳͚ͤ͋a͕̤̻̮͒ ͕͚̥̅ͦ͑̎̇̚͠ **p ͖̰͎̣̹̬̜̓́͐̍͝ȧ̗͟n̼ͫͥsͥ̉̀ͧͥ̐͜y**̛̝͖̮̲̫̻̎ ͌̀̅́ͭ͛ͬf̬͚͚͙̥͡o͈̙ͤ̅ͥ̇̑ͅr̷͖ͩ̏̐̔ ̴͋̍̏̇̈́y̭̤̲̯̤̫͙ŏ̴̗̣̹̂̊̋̿̊ͩu̺͍͖͕ͦͯ̆,̴̗̞̦̱͒̍͗ͭ̽͌ ̭̺̮̀̂̄̓̏̌͟ò̯̳͇̥͇̱ͭ̿ͩ̀̑̚͠r̟͎̟̠̞̍̑̽ͅ ̵̓́̎ͧͧt̜̠͙̥ͥ͆̅ͅw̰̣̙͓ͫͩ͟ō͙͈ͭ  
̤̹͚̓N̸͔͛̈́o̺̙̙̼͖ ̼̻̗̩̿͑ͯ̍̓̉̌͢ͅw͚̦ͫ̚͡õ̜͔̆ͣ̚ͅr̖ͨ͛̀̑̋r͂͐̀̌̆̊͘i̵͐̽ę̫̪ͭs̬̗͉̭͙ͤ̍̅̃ͪ́͞,̶̭̫̩̖̣͗ ̟̑̄́ͭ̉̑̑y̴͓̞̗̲͕o͈̥̜̘̪̣̊ͮͯ͛ͫ̚u͇̒'̣͇̥̥̻̬͒̊̽ͦ̆̉͟l̛̹͈̹̯͉̖̫ͩ͆ͥ̒̎͗̉l͊̎̅̌̀̏́ ͗̐̏͏͙̭̘͕̠b̷͙̙̻̲̥̣̅ͯͭ̀͊ͅe͙͖̙͎̬͊ͬ̅ ̴͖͚̘̩̼̠̌ͨͯ̿̽́̀w̠̞̠͔i̪͔̪̙̻̥ͦt̙͐ͭ̀h̲ͫ̊̾̿̿ͨ̀ ̫̟̯͓̝̤̗͌͊͛ͯm̠̮͕͛͗͢e͚ͦ͋̄̽ͧ́̐ ̺̣̥̹̅̋̿́s̖̯̹͍̺̘̫̉̾õ͘o̧̰͋ͪͤ͊̈̽ͣn͙͇̈̎͗ͫ̌̔̒͠  
̦͎̽ͯ̌ͪ͒A̲̹̺̟̞͒̐ͦͨ̽͒́͝n̛̲̻̩̼̻͚͕͌̓̽̍ͥ̓ď̙̪ͮ ̠̫͈̙͇̀ͪ͆̈̀ͬ̈ṯ̞͖̱̰̹ḥ͖̬̱͌͑ë̻̺ͥͨ̿ͥ͋́n̔̇͗̽ͮ҉ ̱̊̏͊̿̎̈́͘ẙo̟͓̭̣̽͆ͨ͌u͑͛̄͊̆̅ ̟̄̈t͓̦ͥͬ͌͗ò̥͔̞̭̫o̫̩͙͉̳͒,̼ͥ ̋ͬ̐͒̒̀ͩ҉̖̭̪͖͉̩w̞̻̹̪̾ͧͯi̘ͯͮ̓̄̄̇̃ĺ̛̼̤̦̆ͧ̊́̀ḽ̫̫͚͇͉̹ͨ̑̔ͨͭ́̕ ̇ͭ̌̂̀̌̕ẘ̻͙͕̘ͮ͌e̹̣͓̘̟͎͛͞a̬͔͓̮͕̥̤͑ͯ̈̄̈r̵̳̙̙͈͒͊ ̐̓ͯ̃ͣ̌t̡͎̞̭͔͚̤͒h̟̻̫͉̬̟͌͊͆̏̄̐ͅeͯ̇̉ ̛͚͌͐̃̐ **r̪̣̱͗͂̆̉̐ͤͭ͡u ̪̼̘̬̦̱͖ě̝̪̦̤̑̄ ̷̵̢̢"**

 **> Sollux: ABSCOND**

Way ahead of you! You run as fast as you can, unable to breathe. Holy shit! What happened to you, Feferi?

(The voice inside you laughs a mad laugh, and bides his time)

You go in search of Eridan, in the hopes that as her formal moirail, he can do something about this. You proceed to [go through a lot of awful stuff that we've already seen.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/172420/chapters/264644)

 **> Be the other half of the bifurcated nutcase**

You hear -

The creaking of great **TREE L IMBS**

Your eyes open

w i d e

and you -  


and I.

And I know.

I've known all along and allways all the  
streeeeeetching  
of the seaweed towards  
slithering sliding slurping diving  
seeking solace in the darkened deep  
they've sung to me  
all told and all of them  
but this one!  
such a song I've never heard before  
I hear her now  
I hear her now

She takes my hand, and we tangle  
the Squid Suckers of her master twisting in me  
and I sing a new song to her masters  
Such clarity!  
Such purpose.  
Where before I was only arrogance  
Now I am found, now I am made  
Given new purpose -- and that purpose is justice  
Justice in your name  
Justice in Her name.

I sing of despair  
And I ask her  
Who will hang by the Barnacle rocks  
And I already know her answer:

"The **Red Snapper** first;  
 **Red Anenome** , defier of  
The ancient precepts;  
So tangled in her own despair  
We'll set her free first  
Justice for the blind-girl done  
We'll move on  
The **Spider Crab** with crimes so long  
We cannot list them all  
The **Sand Piper** girl  
To join with **Vampire Squid** (I jest; her fangs are false) so  
They shall not be alone, and last -  
The **Sea Urchin** goes."  


"And then we follow,"  
I purr, grinning like a Bull Shark  
"To a land of plenty; without strife  
Where we may rule together, forever  
In the lands of the dead beyond

We go together"

I take her hand in mine  
And like twin **Tiger Sharks**  
Our hunt beings  
There   
she   
stands!  
Defiant and proud  
Tall and strong  
We smile at each other,  
Then at her. 

"Don't be afraid," we say  
"You'll be at peace soon.  
Don't resist.  
Follow us. We bring peace.  
Only peace."

She resists, of course.  
  
But not for long...

.  
  
  
---|---


	2. Like the Red, Red Rose

** > Be the arrogant fuckass **

**You are now KARKAT VANTAS**

Your extremely fine pressed pants are stained now in a rainbow of colors, and your fingers leave rainbow streaks along the walls. Tyrian purple. Mustard yellow. Jade green. Grass green.

Rust red.

In all your calculations, your machinations, in all your careful management of everyone’s relationships you never, ever could have calculated this.

You’d always known them to be volatile; they were _trolls_. Your race was volatile by nature, instinct barely kept in check by centuries of rule of law, by fear of death and torment. But you, as a romanculator, were destined to check those instincts, to tangle your brethren in carefully balanced relationships and thus ensure the stability of society. True, you’d originally used your talents for base survival, deliberately sabotaging each delicately balanced quadrant set to send lovers to their doom in your mother’s claws, but that was necessity, and not something you’d ever really wanted to do with your life. The game had been a chance to ensure that everyone got out alive. Even those you hated. Perhaps especially them, for hate has as much a hallowed place in your culture as love, after all.

You sink to the floor and stare at your hands. It doesn’t even seem to have been the result of a quadrant mixup, or anything you could have predicted. You’re not even certain whose doing it is, save that it isn’t Kanaya -- you know her far too well. She may pretend to be as violent and vicious as the others, but in the end... she’s not capable of this.

(You’re certain, with a sick, twisted feeling, a kind of resentful anger, that she’d say the same of you. “A romantic at heart, Karkat, for all your posturing.” And the worst part is that now you think she’s right.)

Rust red. Terezi. So twisted, so dark and so broken and hurt and so...

You clench your fists, burying the emotion. You can’t let your own completely tangled and complex feelings get in the way here, you have to survive. Have to salvage this. Somehow. Dammit. You look up in steely resolve. You are going to beat this. You are Karkat fucking Vantas, descendant of Marquis Mandible Thoughtclaw, a highway-bound romanceer who took no shit from anyone, and oh no fuck this you’re shaking in your boots and pretty sure you are going to scream because JEGUS FUCK ON A FUCKING POGO STICK THERE’S A GODDAMN MURDERER AND THEY JUST KILLED SEVERAL PEOPLE YOU KNEW INCLUDING ONE YOU ACTUALLY LIKED FUCK FUCK FUCK no don’t scream it’ll find you aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa - wait fuck the what now?

Someone is trolling you.

\--aleatoryTheosophist [AT] began trolling cunningGangwifre [CG]\--

AT: karkat,  
AT: karkat, please answer, this fine gentleman,  
AT: as this one much, desires to speak with you,  
CG: . . . . . . . . 8H F8CK.  
CG: F8CK F8CK F8CK F8CK F8CK FUCK FAKH F8AKSDJFKJFDSLFJFADSJADFSKJLFADSJLFDSJL  
AT: this one observes, that, you seem to have, lost control, of your eights  
AT: and suggests, you, kindly get a grip,  
AT: this one is attempting, to warn you of events he has observed  
AT: among, other things  
CG: Y8UR F8CKING QU8RK!!!!!!!!  
AT: seriously an i, does not even look like an 8, please calm yourself,  
CG: SHIT IT’S Y8U ISN’T IT???????? Y8U KILLED EVERYONE!!!!!!!! JESUS FUCK WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT DID NEPETA EVER DO TO YOU, YOU HORRIFIC ASSHOLE, YOU SCUM OF ALTERNIAN SOIL, YOU 8URDEN8EAST FUCKER!!!!!!!! I SHOULD HAVE FUCKING KNOWN, YOU RAN OUT OF SLIME, DIDN’T YOU????????  
CG: AND NOW THAT YOU DON’T SEE YOUR MAGICAL FUCKING IMAGINARY FAIRIES ANYMORE YOU’VE GONE AND HAD AN ACRO8ATIC FUCKING PIROUETTE OFF THE DEEP END.  
CG: 8ECAUSE I KNEW AAAAAAAALL ALONG YOU ASSHOLE  
CG: WHAT YOU REALLY ARE  
CG: WHAT YOU’RE DESCENDED FROM  
CG: YOU’RE A FUCKING HIGH8LOOD, IT’S IN MY ANCESTOR’S SMUTFIC I MEAN  
CG: . . . . . . . .  
CG: I MEAN HIS JOURNAL  
CG: THEY 8ASICALLY JUST PASSED JUDGEMENT ON WHOEVER THE FUCK THEY WANTED AND NO8ODY EVER TOOK YOU SERIOUSLY  
CG: SO NOW YOU’RE TAKING YOUR 8LOODY REVENGE  
CG: WELL FUCK I GUESS AT LEAST DEATH 8Y STUPID PURPLE-8LOODED DRUGGIE IS A 8ETTER WAY TO GO THAN GODDAMN UNSTOPPA8LE SMELLY DOGSHIT ASSHOLE SO COME AT ME 8RO!!!!!!!!  
AT: okay, jeez,  
AT: are you done because, that isn’t, what is going on at all, okay,  
AT: this one is actually kind of, offended }:(  
AT: fairies are real, you know at least one, okay }:( and  
AT: her being a fairy, was your fault, so  
AT: what this one is trying to say is, shut up, about that,  
AT: ok so second, the things, you actually kind of got right, this one supposes,  
AT: this one, did run out of slime, and  
AT: this one is descended, from the highbloods,  
AT: the unseelie court, the winged death, who would,  
AT: pass judgement on the wicked,  
AT: by which this one meant, of course, whoever they thought, were wicked,,,  
AT: and, yes, the darkness of his ancestors blood, sings in him, even now  
AT: the call of the deep woodlands,  
AT: but this one is kind of  
AT: really lucky };)   
CG: FUCK YOUR LUCK, LUCK DOESN’T ACTUALLY MATTER.  
AT: well,  
AT: call it whatever you want,  
AT: but it is all that is keeping this one from, as you said, having an acrobatic fucking pirouette off the deep end,  
AT: this one has killed no one,  
AT: he is keeping his sanity by sheer willpower, pure luck, and  
AT: somewhat, divorcing himself, from himself  
AT: that doesn’t make sense, but, that doesn’t matter,  
AT: the point is that, if this one starts, using the first person again,  
AT: that is when you should be afraid,  
CG: OKAY SO WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I 8ELIEVE YOU?  
CG: WHAT THE HELL SAYS THAT THE MINUTE YOU FIND ME YOU AREN’T GOING TO FUCKING GUT ME????????  
AT: because,  
AT: this one, has been standing ten feet away from you, this whole time?  
AT: this one did not speak, because, this one knew you were, ah  
AT: tense

You stop mid angry keystroke to look up slowly from your husktop. There is, indeed, a purple-clad gentleman sitting not ten feet from you with his own husktop, his horns and top hat unmistakable. He gives you a shy wave. You scowl, then immediately go back to typing. Fuck that guy, you don’t have to actually speak to answer him!

CG: . . . . . . . . OKAY FINE.  
CG: 8UT MAAAAAAAAYBE YOU’RE JUST SITTING OVER THERE TO MAKE ME NERVOUS!  
CG: AND WHEN I’M SCARED ENOUGH YOU’RE GOING TO POUNCE.  
CG: AND MAKE STUPID FAIRY PAINTINGS WITH MY 8LOOD  
CG: OR SOMETHING  
CG: WELL YOU AREN’T SCARING ME AT ALL ASSHOLE SO NO POUNCING  
CG: MY GUTS ARE NOT NOODLES WITH GRU8SAUCE TONIGHT  
CG: 8ECAUSE MY WILL IS STEEL.   
AT: yeah, because, you aren’t, kind of, uh, shaking, when you type there  
AT: at all, are you, };) 

You give the top hatted gentleman a particularly evil glare as you hit the enter key.

CG: FUCK  
CG: YOU  
CG: . . . . . . . . 8UT OKAY FINE  
CG: WHAT DID YOU WANT TO WARN ME A8OUT?  
AT: the fact that this one is often underestimated, and, uh, overlooked, means that he sees much and is unseen,  
AT: and, it is the maid of rage, who has done this,  
AT: aradia told me, that, all this has happened before  
CG: ARADIA’S DEAD, FUCKWIT.  
AT: no,  
AT: she is one of the seelie,  
AT: like vriska,  
AT: this one sees her in his dreams now, when he sleeps,  
AT: she says its different this time, than how it was  
AT: this one isn’t, ah, too sure, on the specifics?  
AT: but that isn’t the point,  
AT: the point is that, feferi has always heard the whispers of one of the horrorterrors,  
AT: and, she thinks, that if she kills everyone, we’ll be happy,  
AT: because, if we go to the dreambubbles, then, we’ll be safe and sound,  
AT: and allways dreaming, and she’s not completely, right about that,  
AT: because that’s how it is, at first,  
AT: but in this universe, something is, a little different, she didn’t say why,  
AT: but when the game ends, and, the horrorterrors aren’t obliged anymore, to keep the bubbles,  
AT: they eat our memories instead,  
AT: and then we become the horrorterrors, for new sessions,  
CG: HOW THE FUCKING SHIT DICKS IS THAT EVEN GODDAMN RELEVANT.  
CG: I’M NOT ASKING YOU A8OUT YOUR WEIRD NONSENSICAL METAPHYCIAL 8ULLSHIT TAVROS.  
CG: I’M ASKING YOU WHO THE FUCK KILLED TEREZI AND WHAT HER NEXT MOVE IS.  
AT: oh, well, like this one said, it was feferi,  
AT: and, shes going after, kanaya next, and then, probably Vriska, then you and me, and then, she’s probably   
CG: OH FUCK.  
AT: yes, that would be, the appropriate reaction  
CG: AREN’T YOU GOING TO DO SOMETHING, MR. “I HAVE ALL THE LUCK, ALL OF IT?”  
AT: this one cannot }:(  
AT: before you, get mad, at this one,  
AT: understand how much concentration it is taking, for this one to, ignore the voices of the unseelie within him,  
AT: the slime kept them at bay before, but now, it is just this one,  
AT: were this one to engage in fisticuffs, he could not, guarantee, that he would not also succumb, to that,  
CG: GR8.  
CG: JUST FUCKING GR8.  
CG: 8UT YOU KNOW WHAT?  
CG: I’M KARKAT FUCKING VANTAS.  
CG: IF I HAVE TO KEEP SAVING KANAYA’S ASS I’LL DO IT.  
CG: PEACE FUCKING OUT, YOU CRAZY SLIME-SNIFFER.  
AT: good luck, marquis thoughtclaw, may, uh, the light of the seelie courts, guide you,  
CG: DON’T FUCKING CALL ME THAT.  
AT: but, uh, this one, thought you modeled yourself on him?  
CG: FUCKASS WAS A DUMB FUCKWIT WHO WAS RED FOR SOME NOBLE8LOOD AND HAD TO KILL THE GUY WHEN HE 8ETRAYED THE MARQUIS. ASSHOLE JUST SNAPPED, AND WAS GOING TO FEED HIM TO THIS CRAZED LEGISLACERATOR WHO THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS SAVING THE UNJUST BY HANGING THE POOR 8ASTARDS.  
CG: ENDED UP GETTING KILLED WHEN HE DIDN’T HAVE THE SHAMEGLO8ES TO GO THROUGH WITH IT.  
CG: GODDAMN USELESS SACK OF SHIT ROMANTIC, EVEN IF HE WAS A TERROR WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER.  
CG: THAT ISN’T ME.  
CG: WE AREN’T 8OUND 8Y OUR ANCESTORS, OR WHAT CAME 8EFORE.  
CG: I’M WRITING MY OWN FUCKING STORY, YOU HEAR ME?  
CG: AND IT’S GOING TO HAVE A HAPPY ENDING.  
AT: that’s the, ah, spirit }:) 

\--aleatoryTheosophist [AT] ceased trolling cunningGangwifre [CG]\--

You slap your husktop shut with what you hope looks like focused determination. You are going to be the hero. You are going to save your...

…

Okay. Fine. You are a little pale for her. Might as well admit it. You are going to get her out of trouble and put her on her feet. Be the moirail. Save the friend.

 ** > Be the friend. **

**You cannot be KANAYA MARYAM at the moment as she is in the midst of STRIFE! We would not wish to distract her.**

 ** > Be the other friend.**

 **You are now VRISKA SERKET**

Friend? Bluh! You’re not Karkat’s friend, he’s a blue-blooded bully and you want nothing to do with that asshole! Also he killed you. Well, okay, you guess that it was actually fine that he killed you because you came back and now you’re a goddess! YEAH!! And you saved everybody!! Even more YEAH!!!!

Which means, of course, that you can totally save this guy. Girl. Whatever, Eridan confused you, but you’re pretty sure he’s a guy! Not that it matters.

Anyway, he’s not answering after he goes dark, and everybody, especially Eridan, has told you that you can’t fuck with time, shit is predestined, blah blah, but screw that! You’re a GODDESSSS. Of LIFE. You killed the Black King!! And you’re going to save everybody.

So you dial it back and try to catch him before he goes dark.

\--aurochsGore [AG] began trolling tortileGhostwriter [TG]\--

AG: Sso hey!! You’re David right?? I think we sshould talk.   
TG: no

tortileGhostwriter [TG] has blocked aurochsGore [AG]

Oh.

That went well.

You dial to a different time and try again. Maybe back further? When he’s younger. There! He’s so short his legs don’t even reach the floor.

\--aurochsGore [AG] began trolling tortileGhostwriter [TG]\--

AG: Sso, hi!! Again.  
AG: Or I guessss for the firsst time??  
AG: Oh well, whatever, hi!  
TG: Oh.  
TG: Hi.  
AG: Woah, you type different! Why don’t you type like thiss in the future, insstead of ussing that sstupid no-capss bullsshit?? Thiss iss much more dignified!!  
TG: You shouldn’t use that kind of language.  
TG: It’s very rude.  
AG: Well excusse me, Mr. High-And-Mighty-Knight!!  
AG: But I guessss you’re right 8\  
AG: A proper Knight of Light wouldn’t usse that ssort of language!!  
AG: Of coursse you do in the future 8/ Which is kind of a hypocritical huge jerk thing for you to do!!  
AG: Come to think of it you’re a bit of a huge jerk in the future in general 8|   
TG: What the heck are you talking about?  
TG: You aren’t making any sense.  
TG: You’re just a troll, or something. Mother told me not to talk to trolls.   
AG: That’ss rude of her too!! I guessss that’ss where you got it from?? But trollss are people too, okay? It’ss racisst to ignore uss!!  
TG: I don’t know if I see how it’s racist, exactly.  
AG: Oh, nevermind, you’re too much of a sstupid wriggler to get it!!  
AG: Wait I’m ssorry I’m sso ssorry!! I didn’t mean to call you sstupid.  
AG: I’m ssure you’re plenty ssmart! I’m jusst frusstrated.  
TG: Why?  
AG: Becausse I’m TRYING to help you, but you alwayss ignore me!!   
TG: You’re not being very helpful though.  
TG: You’re talking about a lot of stuff that doesn’t make any sense.  
TG: I’ve never even talked to you before, but you’re talking like we’ve spoken many times?  
AG: Right!! Ssorry, ssorry, I alwayss forget, time sshenaniganss...  
AG: How about we forget all thosse thingss I jusst ssaid, and jusst kind of proceed with thingss?  
TG: I guess I can put up with this a little longer.  
TG: But mom will want me to do chores soon, I think.  
AG: UGH! CHOOOORESS!!?? But WHY!!??  
AG: I know you have sservantss, I’ve  
AG: Uh  
AG: Well nevermind how I know you have maidss, why would sshe want you to do CHORESS??  
TG: Ugh, I don’t know.  
TG: It’s stupid.  
TG: She says it’s to build character.  
TG: I guess.  
TG: The girl in my dreams says it’s probably part of some passive aggressive warfare thing though.  
TG: I said I love my mother but she says that I’ll lie about that later? I don’t know.  
TG: I like her but I think she’s crazy sometimes.  
AG: What girl in your dreams 8?   
TG: That isn’t even a face.  
TG: What is that supposed to be.  
TG: Anyway nevermind. What did you want to say?  
AG: I wanted to talk to you about being a knight!!  
AG: Becausse ssomeday you’re going to be one, and I want to make ssure that you’re going to do a good job of it!!  
TG: What if I don’t want to be a knight?  
TG: I want to be a writer when I grow up.  
TG: Like Stephen King, or something.  
TG: So I can live by myself, and nobody will bother me, and I can just make stories all the time.  
AG: How booooring!! You’re not even a farmer like me who wanted to be a hero but couldn’t do it at first; you can totally do it but you don’t want to??  
AG: You’re practically a prince already and you just want to sit around and WRITE about other people having fun??  
TG: Nobody gets hurt if you’re just writing a story.  
TG: And maybe I don’t want to be a prince either.  
AG: Oh man geez you are nothing like I expected argh thiss iss so HARD!!  
AG: Okay.  
AG: Well it doessn’t matter becausse even if you don’t want to be a knight you have to be. It’ss your desstiny. And if you’re going to have to be ssomething, you’d better be good at it.  
AG: I ssuggesst you get a lot of your earth books on knightss, and read them, sso you know what you’re ssuppossed to do ass one.  
AG: But the main thing iss, you do whatever you can to help your friendss, and your loved oness!S  
AG: Ass a Knight you have to protect them. Keep them ssafe. Alwayss.  
TG: But I don’t have any friends.  
AG: But you will!! And believe me, you’ll care about them, a LOT. You’ll ssee.  
AG: I didn’t think I had many friendss either, but then I got LOTSS of them, and I try to protect them too!! I didn’t think I’d be any good at it, but I learned, and now I’m the besst at protecting 8) the BESST.  
AG: I had a great desstiny!! I became a fairy goddessss, and it wass all becausse of my friendss. Esspecially my besst friend, Kanaya!!  
AG: But I’ll tell you about her later. The point iss that you will have the BESST friendss and you’ll care about them a lot and you have to become the BESST knight sso you can keep them safe!!  
TG: I have to go.  
TG: My mother is calling.  
AG: I’ll talk to you again ssoon then!! I have to tell you more about being a knight!!

\--aurochsGore [AG] ceased trolling tortileGhostwriter [TG]\--

You dial it forward again. You feel like you’ve made progress! Maybe if he reads all those earth knight books he’ll get good at this and he won’t go all dark and crazy on you!

\--aurochsGore [AG] began trolling tortileGhostwriter [TG]\--

AG: Hi again!!  
AG: Thiss time for real hi again, becausse we’ve talked before from your persspective too, sso you totally get it when I ssay hi like thiss!!  
TG: very well  
TG: i shall play along with this idiotic charade  
TG: clearly perpetuated by an idiot troll and/or fan attempting to get my goat  
AG: What? 8?  
AG: But you don’t have a hoofbeasst?  
TG: oh i most certainly do  
TG: i have him right here tied up next to me  
TG: troublesome boor keeps attempting to devour my literature  
TG: its a hard life  
TG: it is hard and no one understands  
AG: But I don’t ssee any hoofbeasst with you!!  
TG: you don’t say  
TG: well  
TG: it happens to be an invisible pink hoofbeast  
TG: you cannot prove its nonexistance  
TG: ergo it must be real  
AG: Okay, whatever.  
AG: But that’ss not why I came to talk to you.  
AG: I’m here to tell you about being a knight!!   
TG: it says so right on my website dear sir  
TG: i do not roleplay  
TG: nor will i engage in any such shenanigans with you  
TG: thank you and good day  
AG: UGH!! I liked wriggler you WAY better. When did you get to be sso inssufferable??  
AG: Jusst humor me for a while, ok??  
AG: Maybe you can get a good sstory out of it.  
TG: whatever  
AG: Sso the big thing iss that a knight musst never usse dark magic!!  
AG: ESSPECIALLY a Knight of Light. Which iss what you are!!  
AG: He - or... sshe? I’m sstill kind of unclear on that point??  
AG: Eridan ssayss you’re a sshe but I don’t think he’ss right about that.  
AG: Anyway.  
AG: You need to alwayss sstay noble and true and virtuouss and on the sside of light and good if you are a knight!!  
TG: sounds boring  
AG: What!?  
TG: its completely played out in every story ive ever read  
TG: even the original authors of the arthurian mythos knew that  
TG: also be honored im actually bothering to critically engage you rather than simply blocking you out of spite  
TG: look at me treating this conversation with the gravity it deserves  
TG: with frankly jupiterian significance  
TG: anyway  
TG: lancelot had flaws  
TG: even fucking gawain had flaws and he was intended to be the biggest gary stu ever  
TG: the plot was about either succumbing to those flaws tragically  
TG: or learning to overcome them  
TG: im only twelve and even i know this  
AG: Oh my god!! You told me not five minutess ago not to usse that kind of fucking language and now you’re doing it!! You are ssuch a hypocrite!!  
TG: we werent talking five minutes ago  
TG: and its called the internet and the twenty first century  
TG: and neglectful parents  
TG: deal with it  
TG: i would use an ironic sunglasses smiley here but that really is more GG’s territory and i do not wish to step on her toes  
TG: the point is that you said you were giving me ideas for my stories  
TG: which is frankly absurd because i dont post them anywhere i only write reviews and ironic literary analysis  
TG: i can only assume that you simply inferred my proclivities towards the crafting of fiction from that  
TG: the point is that being good and light all the time is boring  
TG: if you have a perfect protagonist who never feels the consequences of his or her actions your readers will stop caring  
TG: flaws and conflict are what drive a story  
AG: But I’m not talking about a sstory!!  
AG: I’m talking about LIFE!!  
AG: It’ss not cool to be the black knight, okay?? You’re going to hurt people with that kind of thinking and I’m trying to help you!!  
TG: and i think you are a crazy weaboo of some sort  
TG: either way this conversation is over

\--tortileGhostwriter [TG] has blocked aurochsGore [AG]\--

ARRRGH!

WHAT A FLIGHTY PRICK. You facepalm x2 combo. But you refuse to give up! You eventually embark on a series of further conversations. As they are all very similar in character to this one, the editors feel that it is prudent to simply skip over them. Close your eyes for a moment and imagine what they are like.

As you embark on this quest, you are accosted continually by that highblooded idiot. Ugh! You were willing to manipulate him and use him to your own ends before, but now you just don’t have time for that jerk! So you keep talking with the David human until finally you get to [this conversation](http://archiveofourown.org/works/154900).

You close the conversation window and just sit there for a while, hugging your knees to your chest. You tried. You really did try and he just won’t listen. The future remained unchanged, everything stayed the same.

Why wouldn’t he listen? You wipe some brown tears from your eyes, and turn to this other idiot. You might as well give him the time of day, at least.

\--aleatoryTheosophist [AT] began trolling aurochsGore [AG]\--

AT: hello, fair lady,  
AT: this one, has urgent news for you,  
AT: so urgent that, this one is going to drop the, formalities,  
AT: and speak to you straight,  
AT: this one sees, that, you are busy,  
AT: and you are probably dismissing him,  
AT: as being on one of his drug trips,  
AT: but he assures you, he is, at last, quite sober,  
AT: and he is trying very hard to contact you, about, something of the utmost importance  
AT: please vriska, please answer,  
AT: this is very important, to you,  
AT: very well, this one will simply, ah, attempt to explain, the situation, while you are, ignoring him,  
AT: our friend feferi has, at last, given in to those voices from beyond the, ah, veil,  
AT: she believes that only in death will we find happiness,  
AT: will we find our true purpose,  
AT: she is going now with captor to kill kanaya,  
AT: you must stop them, vriska, you are the knight of life,  
AT: and, this one knows, you are pale for kanaya, because, that is pretty obvious,  
AT: even to one who was, up till now, in a haze of dreams,  
AT: look and she is flushed for you, but, you are always too blind, to see it, karkat has tried to tell you both a thousand times,  
AT: why arent you picking up vriska,  
AT: it is going to be too late,  
AT: please vriska please,  
AG: Ugh!!  
AG: What are you babbling about now??  
AG: Feferi wouldn’t go crazy, I mean, sshe’ss weird and all with the ssocial jusstice thing and ssaying all the casstess sshould be equal, but I like that about her.  
AG: Sshe’ss nice.  
AG: Hey, why don’t you jusst go chasse your little fairiess insstead of bothering me? I’m trying to be the besst moirail ever here!!  
AT: no,  
AT: theres only two fairies here,  
AT: one is you,  
AT: the other is aradia, who flies beyond,  
AT: this one is done chasing,  
AT: this one is done dreaming, and im done being pushed around, by you,  
AT: not because this one is a highblood, because, that part is stupid,  
AT: but because, this one is just, done, this one is not stupid and this one is not a joke,  
AT: and youre, actually, kind of the worst moirail ever,  
AT: youre trying to change the human and hes never going to change, not, the way you want,  
AT: that future, thats already written,  
AT: but this one you can still change and youre just, like you always are, charging ahead, with your own agenda,  
AT: youre not fooling anyone with, the stutter, with your dumb farmgirl act,  
AT: youre kind of, a manipulative jerk, who just does what she wants always and, always thinks shes right,  
AT: despite, your stuttering around people, who arent this one and kanaya,  
AG: 8( How can you even ssay mean thingss like that??  
AT: no, shut, up, and just actually, listen to this one, for once,  
AT: trust me,  
AT: kanaya is going to die,  
AT: you need to get to the roof now,  
AT: please,  
AG: UGH!! FUCK YOU!!  
AG: FUCK YOU AND YOUR SSTUPID FAIRIES AND YOUR SSTUPID DRUG TRIPSS AND YOUR SSLIME!!  
AG: Firsst, I AM the besst moirail, and, I totally have enough sself confidence to tell you to GO FUCK YOURSSELF.  
AG: I’m trying to ssave everyone from thiss sstupid doomed timeline, becassue we all know it’ss the human’ss fault.  
AG: And yeah!! I only ever flirted with you to get what I wanted, becausse you’re a SSTUPID SSACK OF HOOFBEASST SSHIT.  
AG: But fine. David issn’t lisstening anyway, sso I’ll go to the roof. Happy now??  
AG: Alsso, don’t ever contact me again. 

\--aurochsGore [AG] blocked aleatoryTheosophist [AT]\--

 ** > Be the moirail, who is flushed for Vriska.**

 **You are now KANAYA MARYAM**

You rev your chainsaw. You have not come this far just to die. You have not avoided certain death, have not evaded the culling squads and wayward Flarpers, just to have... to have...

Whatever the hell she is kill you.

“Fain and folly to resist.”

“There will be no third-act twist.”

“Justice brought and peace found.”

“As the low-blood starts to drown.”

Captor’s eyes are black as pitch, his fangs dripping ichor, but he stands to the side, his hands behind his back. He does not move. Feferi, on the other hand...

You lose track of how many tentacles you cut, of how many times you slash, and still that grinning face stares at you, singing that you should give up, stop resisting, because in death you’ll be happy, everyone has to die sometime, you must die to fulfill your ultimate purpose, everyone has to, that’s the nature of the game, of life, death is inevitable...

You scream defiance. You keep fighting, your blood boiling. You won’t give in. You don’t care that Vriska doesn’t like you like that, you don’t care that you’re a mutant blooded _freak_ who somehow still has no real black prospects, you don’t care about romance at all anymore.

You want to live.

 _You’re going to live._

 ** > Be the highblood.**

 **You are now TAVROS NITRAM.**

You close the husktop with a sigh, then hug it to your chest. You’ve never been so scared in your life. You have a massive, splitting headache, there’s a crazy person hunting your friends, and your best friend (matesprit? Maybe? It could have been...) is dead.

You’ve been crying for so long that your face is basically a purple mess, and it’s taking all your will not to freak out and curl into a ball. You’re dead certain the only reason you avoided Feferi were your light powers and sheer, blind luck. There’s no way you could face her in a fight. All that stuff about the unseelie court, the sidhe, voices in your head? Lies. Sure, you’re descended from the Grand Highblood, from the most fearsome of the Unseelie Court, a mutant with wings, but that’s the only grain of truth. You’re a disgrace to your caste, you always have been, and you used to drink that slime to hide that fact -- from everyone else, and from yourself. Surely it’s just that his brain is addled, that makes it so he can’t hurt a fly! Surely it’s his poor choices!

Surely it’s not just that this is the way he _is_.

You take a few deep, sobbing breaths. You want to make sure nobody else dies though. You’re going to be strong. You’ll defy your bloodline and be whoever you want to be, and the person you want to be is one who makes sure nobody else dies.

You stand, and you go to follow Karkat and Vriska. You were already close to the top, and you imagine it’s also luck that makes it so that the three of you arrive at the same time, forming a perfect triangle around the grisly scene before you.

You can’t even see what’s at the center of the tangled mass of thorny black vines, but you can hear the screams. Every so often you see a flash of purple as the mass parts, and there is Captor. He turns slowly, his black eyes unreadable, and he points his spear first at you, then Karkat, then Vriska.

“Justice follows you next.”

As he speaks, the vines part just enough that Kanaya can be seen, bloody and battered (as always) but this time her chainsaw drops from her hands. There is a black figure, faintly troll-shaped, white eyes glowing from the blackness, a mouth full of fangs splitting in a manic grin.

Kanaya’s eyes meet Feferi’s. For a moment Kanaya gives her an almost pleading look.

“Please.”

“Be at peace.”

A black tentacle drives straight through Kanaya’s chest, and comes out with her heart. The world is painted candy red, rose red, and she falls, a faint smile on her face.

Three voices as one shout _No!_

Three individuals make a decision.

You stand stock still, frozen in place by what you’ve seen. Stupid stupid, _useless_ , always useless, to everyone -

Vriska sinks to her knees, screaming, screaming, she can’t stop, brown tears streaming down her face.

Karkat hesitates, his jaw dropping almost to the floor, but then he grips his scythe and charges forward with a roar.

“ _KANAYA!_ ”

The three of you are halted in your tracks by a hissing and slithering as tentacles wrap around your throats, constricting slowly. You struggle for breath, kicking your legs as you’re lifted into the air, your face turning purple.

“No worries, no cares, no need for air; you’ll be free soon.”

“You’ll be safe soon.”

And everything

starts to

go black

Until at once a

 **shot**

rings out

She is still mortal after all.

The tentacles vanish; you drop to the floor and lay dazed on your side. Feferi’s head has been blown open, yet there’s just enough left in her, perhaps from simple troll endurance or a residue of the dark forces with which she’s been employed, that she says,

“No... why? I was... helping...”

Captor snarls, and he lets loose a volley of throwing stars; another shot rings out, but he dodges, and then he slides forward, a black trail following in his wake. A second and third shot ring true, though, one slamming through his stomach, the other into his knee.

His eyes widen, then turn white. He stares at his blood covered hands (grass green rust red candy red mustard yellow tyrian purple) and starts to shake.

“Oh god, oh man, oh god, oh, fuck -- ”

He flees, as best someone can when they’ve just been shot through the stomach. You don’t move from your prone position, and a boot steps over you. You reach out to weakly grab at the pants leg of the one who just did, and he gives you a backwards glance. You let go. This is a dude with business.

This is a dude with jade green tears streaming down his face.

“Holy... holy fuck, Eridan, you aren’t dead? Oh fuck oh god oh jegus fuck you’re a Rainbow Drinker, aren’t you? Oh fuck, don’t eat me - ”

Eridan turns slowly and gives Karkat a long stare.

“You fuckin’ idiot, I’m not a rainbow drinker.”

Karkat blinks.

“Then what the fuck? I saw your corpse, I - ”

“Karkat I’m a _time traveler._ I’m gonna go back in time later an’ tell my past self to split the timeline ‘cause it’s the only way I’m gettin outta here alive. ”  
“... oh. Fuck.”

“Go after Sol.”

Karkat looks at Eridan for a long second, then nods. You can see him shaking, see how frightened and upset he is, but he charges off, following the trail of vibrant violet blood down the stairs and into darkness.

 ** > Hold on a second, what the fuck just happened??? Back up, and be Eridan Ampora five minutes ago.**

 **You are now ERIDAN AMPORA, five minutes ago.**

A few hours ago, future you came back in time looking battered and worn and informed you that you were going to need to split the timeline. One of you had to die. The other one was going to go and kill Feferi.

You looked at him like he was completely fucking out of his mind.

“Fuck! No! I don’t fuckin care, Fef’s... she came onto me too hard an I ain’t innerested in red feelins for her and I can’t be her moirail because fuckin time shenanigans and -- ”

Future you gripped your lapels and told you on no uncertain terms that you were doing this, and you were going first to hide very, very carefully downstairs with a closed circuit camera system you’d set up so you could watch what was about to happen.

So you did. One you stayed with the matriorb, the other went and did as he was told. And you saw.

Oh god, you saw.

The tears started when you picked up your gun and ascended the stairs. As you heard the sounds, you ran faster and faster, and then, far below, you saw them.

Feferi. Captor.

Kanaya.

Your heart pounds in your chest. You find the perfect place. You line your crosshairs up and

And

You can’t.

Even in that black mass you still -- you’re not even flushed for her at all, you were her _moirail_ and that you’d have liked to stay, and now you see that you should have been all along. This is your fault.

This is _your fault._

If you’d stayed her moirail, kept her on an even keel. If you’d just _been there_ for her.

You weren’t. And even now you’re not sure you can do the deed. Your hands shake. She was your friend. She was your _friend._

Your hesitation costs Kanaya her life. You start and almost shout, fighting back a scream, closing your eyes, fuck, more blood on both your hands, more death, no no no no _no_ \--

You take a deep breath. You power up the gun.

There’s an old story. The details aren’t important, it’s the lesson that matters. Moirails normally keep each other from going mad, one keeping the other’s violent nature in check, the other protecting the more even-tempered troll from outside violence.

But sometimes, that violence cannot be tempered. Sometimes, the weaker troll cannot be protected. The last duty of a moirail, thus, is to provide a mercy killing. Should the weaker troll be critically injured and in pain, a coup de grace is delivered. Should the stronger troll go mad and present a danger to society...

He fights back choking sobs and fails.

“Fuckin a, Fef, fuck, I’m so fuckin sorry, god, fuck, I - ”

You fire.

Captor is easier. Your emotions lock down and you just shoot him, once, twice, thrice, and then Sollux is back and he runs off. You descend.

Fuck, you’re so numb.

You barely hear Karkat’s words as he speaks to you, giving him a dull stare. You hear yourself answering, but it’s not you, you’re somewhere else, outside yourself. You can hear Vriska screaming and crying, rocking back and forth with Kanaya in her arms, but again, it’s far away, and you feel like Vriska’s far away too.

Is any of this real?

You walk to her body and look into her staring eyes, wide and open. Tavros stands and moves to stand near Vriska, who clings to him, for lack of anyone else to cling to. It’s clear he finds this awkward, he doesn’t want this, not on any level, but all of them need comfort now.

You sink to your knees and take her in your arms, and at last, you break.

At last, you break.


	3. Black and White

** > Be the spidercra8 **

You catch up to Sollux at the bottom of a staircase, his body crumpled in the corner. He’s alive. Barely. His front teeth are missing though, and he’s still got that gaping stomach wound.

You kneel by his side. You take out bandages and healing salves. No way in hell you’re letting him die. Not here. Not now.

But he grabs your hand as you’re trying to stop the bleeding and gives you a strange look. His eyes are normal again (what WAS that, with the white?)

“Let it go, Karkat, please...”

You pull away.

“Shut the fuck up,” you snap. “Nobody else is dying. I just watched one of my best fucking friends die and I’m not losing... I’m not losing you too, fuck you.”

Sollux shakes his head slowly, purple tears rolling down his face.

“I want this.”

You stop.

“No. NO. Fuck you! No, you don’t get to decide that! No, no, you’re going to live you selfish son of a bitch, I’ll _make_ you -  ”

He puts a purple stained finger to your lips.

“Tell me how we met, again.”

“It’s a fucking terrible story and I’m still sorry.”

“Tell me anyway.”

You know what he’s trying to do. So you settle in next to him, holding his hand, staying close.

“Mother was hungry, and I didn’t have any contracts at the time from dumb fuckwits who couldn’t manage their romances, so I started redflirting with Captor, and I invited him over for dinner. We met at one of Tavros’ stupid fucking parties.”

“And?”  
“So I set up a candlelight pitydate, fine food, good drinks, and over he came except he got in the door and suddenly the moron was you. And I figured, hell with it, I’ll go through, seduce you and then throw you to spidermom.”

“That’s fucked up, KK,” he says, but he smiles when he does, because he knows the ending here.

“Except you weren’t interested in that, you were a huge fuckwit who was all oooh, look at your hive, are those romcoms, oh yes I LOOOVE Mr. and Mrs. Troll Smith, fuck you, and then it turned out okay, actually, I like you a lot. Not so much your psycho other side, but you? You were okay. Probably the first real friend I had. Different from TZ, who I also like a lot but fuck we were mostly in cahoots together. You... we just. Talked. About dumb shit.”

“Yeah. I liked those talks. They made me feel... normal, I dunno. Like I was just me, like I could just be me.”

“And... fuck, I’d do anything for you. I mean shit everything with us is complicated and fucked up but all you ever had to do was ask. Fuck. Fuck.”

He takes your face in his hands. You put your hands over his.

“I need you to kill me, KK. I’m going to die anyway, I just... make it quick, make it merciful.”

“Fuck! I don’t -- anything but that jesus, please, anything --”

“If you don’t, he’s going to come back at some point. He’s going to make me try to kill you. FF did something to him, I can feel it inside me now, something black and twisting and fucked up and if you don’t kill me you’re all going to die. I can’t live like this, KK.”

Your cheeks are stained blue with tears by now.

“See you on the other side, KK.”

You shake your head.

“No. You won’t.”

You take his head in your hands, and with one swift, sure motion, you snap his neck. His breath is a sigh, and his body slumps against your own. You don’t even cry. You can’t. Your tears are gone.

You don’t know how much later you make the stupid decision to send him a message, but god, you need to talk to someone right now. Anyone.

\--cunningGangwifre [CG] began trolling gadgetryTrance [GT]\--

CG: HOLY FUCK YOU EGREGIOUS 8LITHERING 8ULGESHIT  
CG: FUCK YOU  
CG: FUCK YOU  
CG: FUCK ALL OF YOU  
CG: WHY AM I EVEN TALKING TO YOU? YOU’RE COMPLETELY FUCKING USELESS.  
CG: MAYBE IT’S TO MAKE MYSELF FEEL BETTER.  
CG: I DON’T FUCKING KNOW, 8UT I’M LONELY AND SCARED AND I’M PROBABLY GOING TO DIE.  
CG: AND I DON’T FEEL LIKE HAVING ROSE PSYCHOANALYZE ME.  
CG: AND FUCK DAVID  
CG: AND FUCK JADE TOO  
CG: SO I GUESS IT’S YOU, FUCKASS.  
CG: FUCK YOUR STUPID HAPPY HUMAN LIFE WHERE YOU NEVER HAD TO SEND LOVERS TO THEIR DEATHS TO SURVIVE.  
CG: FUCK. EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU.  
GT: oh hi karkat!  
GT: password fuckass!  
CG: FUCK YOUR PASSWORDS TOO.  
CG: FUCK OKAY NO I ACTUALLY SENT YOU A MESSAGE FOR A FUCKING FEELINGS JAM.  
CG: 8ECAUSE I SERIOUSLY FUCKING NEED ONE RIGHT NOW AND YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE I TRUST.  
CG: 8ECAUSE MY USUAL FEELINGS JAM PEOPLE ARE  
CG: NEVERMIND FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR PASSWORDS  
GT: oooh  
GT: we already had this conversation bro.  
GT: and it is pretty important!  
GT: so rewind a bit and talk to me okay?  
CG: AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH  
CG: NOOOOOOOO  
CG: NO  
CG: NO RIGHT NOW FEELINGS JAM LET’S GO  
CG: FEELINGS JAM AND YOU WILL FUCKING LIKE IT  
GT: nope!  
GT: it already happened man!   
CG: FUCK YOU FOR 8EING A STU88ORN ASSHOLE AT THE WORST  
CG: POSSIBLE  
CG: MOMENT  
CG: YOU ALWAYS DO THIS  
CG: YOU’RE LIKE HERP DERP HURR IM A DUM8ASS HUMAN RIGHT UP UNTIL SOMEBODY NEEDS YOU TO AGREE TO SOMETHING  
CG: THEN YOU GO ALL NOPE.AVI ON THEM  
CG: JUST FOR THAT I AM GOING TO MAKE YOU FALL ASLEEP AT A MOMENT THAT WILL GET YOU 8RUTALLY MURDERED  
CG: JUST FOR THAT  
GT: haha dude you already prototyped my dog okay? i think you can’t do much worse than that!  
CG: WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I AM!? I WILL VISIT TORMENTS UPON YOU ONLY DREAMED OF 8Y YOUR DISGUSTING WORMLIKE ANCESTORS AS THEY CRAWLED OUT OF THE SLIME AND FIRST 8EHELD THE STARS IN TERROR.  
GT: karkat  
GT: seriously  
GT: rewind  
GT: we will have the best feelings jam  
CG: FUCK YOU, FUCK YOUR PASSWORDS, YOU ARE THE WORST SENTIENT LIFE FORM TO EVER 8E DECANTED FROM A FUCKING ECTO CLONING LA8  
GT: sign

\--cunningGangwifre [CG] blocked gadgetryTrance GT\--

FUCK  
FUCK FUCK FUCK  
FUCK

 

It is some time later that you make the attempt a second time.

\--cunningGangwifre [CG] began trolling gadgetryTrance [GT]\--

CG: HI FUCKASS  
CG: JUST SO YOU KNOW, I’M GOING TO MURDER YOU  
CG: FUTURE YOU IS THE 8IGGEST 8AG OF DICKS EVER  
GT: hi karkat!  
GT: wait noooooooo i thought we were making progress and stuff?  
GT: i mean future me might be a bag of dicks but past me isn’t?  
CG: THE ONE TIME  
CG: THE ONE  
CG: FUCKING  
CG: TIME  
CG: I ACTUALLY WANTED TO TALK TO YOU FOR REAL AND YOU PULL THAT FUCKING PASSWROD 8ULLSHIT  
CG: FUCK YOU  
CG: “NO KARKAT, I CAN’T TALK TO YOU A8OUT HOW YOU JUST WATCHED MORE THAN HALF OF YOUR FRIENDS DIE 8ECAUSE I HAVE A LOAD GAPER WHERE MY CARDIOVASCULAR PUMP SHOULD BE  
GT: wait you what!?  
GT: oh no! fuck why is everyone i know going crazy?  
CG: THIS IS NOT JOHN HARLEY’S AMAZING PRO8LEM TIME HOUR!  
CG: THIS IS KARKAT IS THIS CLOSE TO KILLING HIMSELF TIME.  
GT: look ok i dont know what happens to me in the future that makes me such a jerk.  
GT: time shenanigans is all jade’s thing.  
GT: but um you can talk to me now? if you want.  
GT: or you can just yell at me a lot that’s ok too i guess.  
CG: YOU HAVE 8LINDSIDED ME WITH SO MUCH RAGE  
CG: I AM 8EYOND 8EING 8LACK FOR YOU  
CG: MY HATE HAS GONE STRAIGHT TO UTTERLY PLATONIC  
CG: JEGUS FUCK I JUST WANTED TO TALK TO YOU WHY DID I EVEN THINK THIS WOULD WORK  
GT: um.  
GT: i dont want to interrupt your theraputic yelling session dude.  
GT: but it’s hard for me to comfort you or anything if you’re just yelling.  
GT: and not actually telling me what the problem is.  
CG: MAY8E I DON’T WANT TO SAY WHAT THE PRO8LEM IS.  
CG: MAY8E I DON’T ACTUALLY WANT TO TALK  
CG: MAY8E I DON’T FUCKING EVEN KNOW ANYMORE  
GT: :(  
CG: DON’T YOU FUCKING EMOTICON AT ME HARLEY  
CG: DON’T EVEN DARE  
GT: karkat i can’t help you if you don’t tell me what the problem is.  
GT: and even though you are threatening me i still think that underneath it all you are a pretty good guy!  
GT: and so i also kind of get it if you don’t want to talk about it.  
GT: so instead um...  
GT: for what it’s worth?  
GT: /hug  
CG: are you shitting me?  
GT: :O  
GT: oh my god you lost your capslock!  
CG: what i never use capslock.  
CG: real trolls use the shift key.  
CG: but jegus.  
CG: i threaten to violently murder you  
CG: and rage for ten minutes about what a dick you are  
CG: and you just  
CG: you just type out some stupid fucking action to try to make me feel better  
CG: you’re fucked in the head harley  
CG: and the worst part is i think this is why i decided to talk to you  
CG: fuck you  
CG: fuck me  
CG: fuck this  
CG: okay i guess i’ll fucking talk  
CG: so two of my friends including one who i  
CG: okay fine may8e i was a little flushed for the asshole  
CG: may8e a lot  
CG: whatever  
CG: they 8oth went shithive maggots on us.  
CG: one was already shithive maggots 50% of the time 8ut not like this.  
CG: not like this.  
CG: they murdered like half of us  
CG: and eridan -- fuck, eridan of all the idiots -- killed one of them but the other  
CG: he was my 8est friend like i said and yeah fuck it all hes dead i can say it  
CG: yeah i was flushed for his stupid 8ifurcated ass  
CG: and he snapped out of his crazy and ran off  
CG: and i chased him down  
CG: and he asked me to kill him 8efore his crazy came 8ack and he tried to kill us again  
CG: so i did.  
GT: …  
GT: holy shit.  
GT: okay.  
GT: so.  
GT: jesus dude.  
GT: let me sum up.  
GT: somebody you love very much went crazy and killed some people you knew...  
GT: and then he wasn’t crazy and he asked you to kill him, so you did.  
GT: which like. saying “that sucks” is kind of the biggest understatement in the history of ever.  
GT: that’s a level of suck that makes the ET the Extraterrestrial Atari game look awesome!  
GT: … okay that was um.  
GT: not even funny.  
GT: so yeah that sounds really fucked up and bad. and um.  
GT: humans don’t really... well no okay like.  
GT: hmm.  
GT: i mean first he kind of asked you to? which sucks. but you did what he asked?  
GT: and if he was really that crazy he was going to hurt other people.  
GT: so i think in the end even if it sucks you did the right thing?  
GT: which is a shitty thing to say!   
CG: yeah i’m really fucking comforted that i finally do the right thing  
CG: and the one time i do i feel like total fucking shit  
CG: that speaks real goddamn well of 8eing the fucking hero.  
GT: yeah but sometimes doing the right thing does that to you.  
GT: just because it’s right doesn’t mean it’s fun.  
GT: i mean heck in mass effect i had to kill half the human fleet to save the council and that was really shitty! but i felt like it was what needed to happen.  
GT: and okay let’s say you left him alive, and he’d asked you to kill him. how would he feel? and what if he went crazy again and killed you?  
GT: then how would he have felt?  
GT: so yeah it sucks. and man this conversation is making me worry about what i might have to do soon :(  
GT: it’s probably the right thing but i hate it.   
CG: i just  
CG: fuck i never even got to tell the 8astard how i felt  
CG: i mean not that i really knew exactly shit is so complicated  
CG: i’ve spent my life studying romance and it’s always more complicated than it is in the movies.  
CG: even human romance is.  
CG: it’s hard.  
CG: it’s hard and no8ody understands.  
CG: and our rel8tionship was really fucked up.  
CG: just.  
CG: fuck.  
GT: i’m sorry karkat :(  
GT: i wish i could be there and give you a hug and then we could sit down with street fighter and beat the shit out of each other in video games!  
GT: but i can’t.  
CG: okay you know what?  
CG: FUCK.  
CG: VIDEO GAMES.  
CG: FUCK THEM.  
CG: THEY’RE WHAT GOT US INTO THIS FUCKING MESS.  
CG: MY FRIENDS AND I WORKED IN THAT GAME FOR WHAT FELT LIKE FUCKING MONTHS  
CG: ONLY TO HAVE FUCKING JACK SWOOP IN AND FUCK EVERYTHING UP  
CG: AND YES I KNOW DON’T REMIND ME YOU’RE RIGHT IT WAS MY FUCKING FAULT NOT YOURS AND NOT ROSE’S.  
CG: FUCK ME WITH A GODDAMN 8ROOM HANDLE. SHOVE IT RIGHT UP MY NOOK. MAYBE WIGGLE IT AROUND A LITTLE I DON’T EVEN CARE.  
CG: THE POINT IS THAT WITHOUT THIS FUCKING GAME, NONE OF US WOULD 8E HERE.  
CG: MAY8E MY OWN LUSUS WOULD HAVE EATEN ME AND WE’D HAVE ALL GOTTEN CULLED BY IMPERIAL DRONES LATER 8UT AT LEAST IT WOULDN’T 8E THIS FUTILE FUCKING DEATHTRAP.  
CG: I AM SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING JUST KILLING MYSELF NOW. I MEAN THAT.  
CG: 8ECAUSE IT’S ALL JUST SO FUCKING POINTLESS. EVERYTHING IS PREDESTINED, WE CAN’T FIGHT FATE, ETC.  
CG: TIME 8ULLSHIT MEANS THAT IT ALL GETS SEEDED AND GENERATED FROM THE 8EGINNING, WE MIGHT AS WELL NOT EVEN HAVE PLAYED.   
GT: oh god oh man okay please don’t kill yourself karkat! D:  
GT: you may be a huge jerk but you’re my friend and it’s bad enough that so many other trolls are dead. i kind of like you guys a lot :(  
GT: and no i get you there because it feels like no matter what i do things keep fucking up!  
GT: and then white text guy showed up and it feels even more futile and stupid.  
GT: but you know what?  
GT: and this is something else i learned from games.  
GT: sometimes i’d find a game that was so buggy or broken you couldn’t play it.  
GT: but i wanted to anyway!  
GT: and it took me a loooooooong time to figure it out because programming is way harder than nuclear physics or robots haha.  
GT: but i’d fix them sometimes.  
GT: make it so i could at least win, or improve it!  
GT: there were whole online communities of modders and hackers who would make games just plain better.  
GT: and i think life is like that too? you can’t give up really.  
GT: i mean you can argue it’s cheating but i see it as more...  
GT: seeing the whole game differently? playing by new rules, finding a new way to play!  
GT: and that’s...  
GT: that’s what i want to try here.  
GT: i don’t know if it will work but you can’t kill yourself karkat please.  
GT: as long as you’re still alive there’s still hope.  
GT: still a way to win.  
GT: that’s what i think anyway! nothing is ever hopeless.  
GT: so maybe future me figured it out! i don’t know. but i hope so!   
CG: JESUS FUCK YOU ARE SUCH AN INSUFFERABLE GOO8ER.  
CG: IT’S SICKENING.  
GT: but your shift key is working again ;)   
CG: YEAH WELL FUCK YOU.  
CG: ANYWAY I’M GOING 8ACK UPSTAIRS TO MAKE SURE NO8ODY ELSE IS DEAD.  
CG: AND TRY TO PLAN OUR NEXT MOVE.  
CG: MAY8E YOU’RE RIGHT.  
CG: MAY8E THE ONLY WAY OUT IS TO 8REAK THIS PIECE OF SHIT.  
GT: maybe!  
GT: anyway be safe karkat.  
CG: YOU 8E SAFE TOO FUCKASS.  
CG: NO8ODY GETS TO KILL YOU 8EFORE I GET THERE.

\--cunningGangwifre [CG] ceased trolling gadgetryTrance [GT]\--


End file.
